Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
