I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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