We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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