Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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