you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize