so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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