Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Randomize
