DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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