i don't like sucking hair
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
