we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
