I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
