xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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