another moral hangover. fuck.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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