everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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