Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
