We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
