when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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