Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
