She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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