apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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