i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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