There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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