and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize