I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
