It was confusing and full of hummus
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
