i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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