He uses pillows to masturbate.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize