Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize