i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
