do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
