that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
