I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
