I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
