I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
