guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
