the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
