Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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