If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
