Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
