You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
