I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
