i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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