i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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