In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
