Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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