I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
