My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
