Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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