Don't make out with my wife yet
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
