I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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