He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
