we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
