no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
