I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
