the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
