I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
