So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
