I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
