you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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