Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
either way he was missing a nipple.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
