My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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