So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
