i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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