At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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