Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
